Note: This is NOT a goodbye journal, or a deactivation journal. Plz read below to understand.
Guys.... I am really... REALLY sorry to say this... but... I am done with all roleplays for good. I just can't take the pressure. Do you want to know why?... Here are some reasons.
First: When I roleplay with someone, I wanted it to be fun and exciting. Something that the story chosen can be pitted towards. It didn't matter what we did, as long as we both credit people and have fun, that's what mattered... but one of the problems here, is effort. I put a lot of efforts into the roleplays I do, and sometimes I feel that some of my friends I do it with aren't even trying, or don't know what the heck to do. Like for instance, I didn't give Dez aka anything to do, and even if I did, me and Rainn aka couldn't give her enough time to think. And with Rainn, sometimes he's just too impatient. He told me what caused his impatience, but he kept on either jumping into roleplaying on our private page on Skype every time he and I are online, or that he just jumps into the moment when I didn't want him to do that, and he makes his characters speak so much about stuff, that he doesn't give me or Dez enough time to put our part down, or heck, even think of what to say. When he did that, I am driven into making my characters ask questions, because he's sucking my ideas dry. And I didn't want that to happen at all.
Secondly: Delays. One of the big problems were delays. Mostly it was my fault because I played my games and watched tv. But even when we roleplay, sometimes I try to encourage myself to do the part I am doing, and it takes me a while to do so. And to follow that up, even when I write it down, I take my time to do so by referencing the reading or video part of said part. But Dez... she's delayed us too much. Rainn was right about her. She was busy with her stuff, her life, and her family problems to even MAKE time to roleplay. Me and Rainn always make time, but she nearly doesn't. I'm not angry with her, but I wish she would co-operate with us more often. I know she does great so far in the roleplay, but the time length is also important when we make time. I mean, we started our rp in October, which was 6 months ago. So it's almost half a year, and we aren't even close to the half-way point, or a quarter a way. If this keeps up, it's gonna be 2015 by the time we get to the final event... and I don't want our time to be wasted.
Thirdly: Outlines. My friend Jen told me that Outlines are very important because they are planning out the story before doing it. That's what we were lacking. If the 3 of us just found more time to make the outlines, this wouldn't be happening. I make outlines, but a couple of times, Rainn just doesn't fully comply with it. Sometimes he either mucks it up, or doesn't go with it and changes its subject to something else.
That's all the problems. And no offense, but it's not just them. Sometimes a few other people I roleplay with don't put much effort in either. I wish they could put more effort into it like I do. y.y But all of it is just too much to ask for. We should've made outlines and saved them. But we didn't...
So other than that, I am finished roleplaying. Because I can't maintain my balance with others, and I don't want my chars to do something out of their personality. I'm through with it. Don't try to change my mind, because it's my decision, no one else's.
That's all for now. Kaira out. y.y